


The Reason

by yacieee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Reader-Insert, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21592795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yacieee/pseuds/yacieee
Summary: Reader visits the Roadhouse to suprise Jo and realizes that someone she hasn't seen or even spoken to in a year is also there. In the next 24 hours, everything that was held in comes bursting out.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean Winchester/You
Kudos: 23





	The Reason

**Author's Note:**

> The Reason - Hoobastank  
> * The song is from Dean's perspective  
> ** I own none of the characters. The story is my own. Please do not copy and paste to other platforms without my permission.

I sat in my car for about 10mins before I walked into the Roadhouse. The last time I’ve been here was when I first met Jo Harvelle working on a case with… Anyway, I walked in to almost a full house and made my may to the bar to find Jo or Ellen.

“I’ll have tonight’s special with a side of I miss you.” I slid into the booth and JO turned around at the sound of my voice. Her surprised face made me light up like a Christmas Tree. Jo ran around the bar and gave me a soul crushing hug.

“Oh my god Y/N,” she said. “It’s been quite a while!”

I let go of her with my hands still placed on her shoulders and looked at her bright smiling face. Jo was like the little sister I have ever wanted.

“It has! I’m sorry that I haven’t kept in touch lately. Things have been…complicated.”

Jo knew what I was talking about. Her eyes widened a little bit, she looked down, and bit her lip. Her facial expression went from excitement to “holy shit” in two seconds. Her “holy shit” expression got me a little puzzled though.

“Jo…” My face was stern but puzzled. “What are you not telling me?”

“Umm…”

“Y/N?” A voice from behind me called my name. I turn around and there stood a big little boy with shaggy hair sticking on all sides. His boyish grin smiling at me, revealing his cute little dimple. He was hunching over a little to meet my small frame.

“Oh my god! Sammy!?” I hugged him tightly as I possibly could. Its almost been a year since I last saw this big boy. Throughout our time together, Sam was the one person that had kept me sane.

“Y/N, how have you been,” he asked.

“I’ve been good, Sammy. All things considered.”

“It’s Sam,” he retorted at me calling him Sammy.

“Well, you’re always going to be Sammy to me.” I smiled so wide at our little reunion that my cheeks were hurting. I did miss him, my little brother, my best friend, my shoulder to cry on. My smile quickly faded as I made a realization. My heart began to pound hard in my ears and a lump was forming in my throat.

“If you’re here, that means he is here too…”

Sam nodded with hesitation. “We can leave if you want.”

“Oh no. It’s okay. I have to face your brother eventually. I’ll umm… tolerate him.”

Sam looked at me with such sincerity in his eyes. He felt like he was the one at fault for what his own brother did. But it wasn’t his fault. It was his brother’s. That’s what I love about Sam; if it doesn’t involve him, he is sweet, sensitive, and loving. Trying to make things right. I saw the look in this eyes that he wanted to apologize.

“Sam don’t apologize for what he did,” I said. “It’s not your thing to apologize for.”

“Hey Sam! We should get…”

And there he stood. Dean Fucking Winchester. The man I spent 4 years of my life with, the one that I was in love with; the one who made me feel loved, who made me laugh, who made sure that I was okay after every hunt. The man who ruined me and wrecked everything we had. But that’s all in the past…right?

“Y/N…” Dean looked dumbfounded as he stood next to his little brother. His green eyes looking me up and down to make sure that I was even standing in front of him.

“Dean,” I said with a slight attitude.

“How have you…”

“I’ve been good. Thanks,” I interrupted. The awkwardness and the tension was high. I really wanted to punch him in his perfectly symmetrical face to let all the anger out. I wanted yell at him, scream at him, but I bottled it up and decided to take the high road.

“Listen Y/N…”

“It was nice seeing you guys,” I interrupted again. I knew what he wanted to say. “But I really have to go.”

I walked out the door without telling the boys or Ellen and Jo goodbye. I’ll text Jo later. I get into my Dodge Charger and head to the nearest motel, which was 50 miles away. I called the motel to make a reservation and once I got there, the receptionist tells me that my room was booked was the only one available.

“I paid for that room first,” I shouted.

“But they offered more,” he said.

“THEY?” I hear the doorbell jingle and footstep are walking behind me.

“Robert Plant checking in for 2.”

“Of fucking course,” I whispered. My blood began to boil in my veins. I turn to Dean and he double takes at who is next to him. Red flushes down his face and looks down at his hands. He knows I’m mad when I start smiling and glaring. At that moment, Sam walks in and breaks my concentration.

“Y/N,” he said. “You’re checking in too?”

“Well, I was until I was told that someone paid more money to have my room.”

“Oh shit…” Dean whispered.

“You know what? It’s fine. I’ll just find another motel.”

“But it’s late,” Sam said. “You need your sleep.”

“Well, where am I going to sleep Sam?”

“Stay with us,” Dean said.

My mind took a while to comprehend but I did not want to drive another 50 miles in the middle of the night. Sam was already preparing himself for an uncomfortable night and Dean was pleading with his eyes for me to stay. Why did he care? Why is he offering? He didn’t care before… but sleep was already creeping up on me, so I gave in.

“Fine. But I’m getting my own bed,” I demanded.

“DONE,” they said in unison.

Once they paid the receptionist, I took the key and walked us to our room. Sam and I took the beds while Dean took the recliner. Each of us took turns taking a shower and at one point, it was me and Dean alone in the room. You could cut the tension with a knife if you could. I would catch him looking at me and he would catch me looking at him. A part of me hates him for what he did but the other still loves that son of a bitch like no other…

I read my favorite book after I showered and fell asleep. I felt someone remove my book and put me under the covers. I also felt small pressure on my forehead; a hand or a small kiss…

I was the first one awake and I got dressed to make everyone breakfast. I head to the closest grocery store and when I come back, the boys are still sound asleep. Every now and then, I would look at the boys and think about the times that we had together. Meeting Sammy for the first time, saving the little boy from drowning, and so on. The laughing, the crying, the arguing were the fondest memories that I have.

“Morning,” Dean said.

Breathe.

“Good morning.”

“Smells good. What’s for breakfast?”

Breathe. Be nice.

“The usual,” I said. “Stack of pancakes, hearty omelette, and lots of bacon with coffee for you. Egg white omelette, some fruit, and two slices of bread with OJ for Sammy, and a little bit of everything for me.”

“You remember.” Dean smiled at me. His smile was full of happiness and his green eyes were glistening against the sunlight peaking through the curtains.

“Of course, I remember dummy. I would make it almost every day...”

“And tell me to cut down the nitrates when you were the one making them,” he finished my sentence.

We smiled at each other and laughed at the small memory. It was nice to have a genuine moment with each other, but it doesn’t erase the fact at what happened. Sam woke up a couple of minutes after and ate our breakfast after.

I came to find out that the boys were on case that involved kidnappings of young girls and one witness said that each would meet with a young man and walk out the back door. Thinking it was strange, the witness followed them out to find blood on the floor. All of us were thinking it was a vamp and they asked if I wanted to join. Of course, I couldn’t resist a case.

We get our stuff ready and headed to the next town over. The hunt was east, well at least for me. Vamps kidnapping girls, turning them into blood bags, and boom…dead. Machete to the neck and vamps are gone. But this one was a nest and were underprepared with Dead Man’s blood. Dean had a plan, I undermined his plan, and still managed to kill the entire nest. Dean was PISSED. The whole ride back to the motel was completely silent. I know Sam was pissed too, but not compared to his older brother.

“You could have killed back there,” Dean said.

I scoffed. “We killed those vamps. We’re fine.”

“What if we weren’t, huh?! What if it was me, or Sam, or you?!”

“I’m fine, Sammy’s fine, you’re fine! We’re all fine Dean! That’s all that fucking matters!”

“Guys…” Sam interjected.

“You could have died, Y/N,” Dean yelled one more time.

“Why the fuck do you care,” I spat. “You didn’t care about me or my well being a year ago, so why now huh?!” At this point Sam left the car and into the motel room. I opened my door to do the same thing and Dean opened his, grabbing my wrist.

“Y/N, please just…”

“Stop Dean,” I yelled and pulled my arm back. “You ruined me, and I knew on the first day with that case…”

**A YEAR AGO**

_“Dean!” A beautiful brunette opened the door. There were balloons around the front post, so I can assume that she is having a birthday party._

_“Lisa. How’s it going,” Dean asked her with such infatuation._

_“Wow. So, how long has it been?”_

_“Eight, going on nine years now. Crazy right?”_

_“Yeah,” she said. She was getting a little to smitten with Dean and my jealousy was coming through. My heart pounding in my chest, my hands were behind my back-forming fists, and was glaring at Miss Lisa. I stifled a cough to make my presence known._

_“Oh,” she exclaimed. “Hi, I’m Lisa Braden.”_

_“Y/N Y/L/N. Dean’s girlfriend.”_

**Present**

“I knew from that encounter,” I said. “Something was going to happen, but I brushed all that off because I gave you the benefit of the doubt. You ruined me. After that case, whenever were close to Cicero you were sneaking out in the middle of the night. I would ask you who would be calling and texting you during our dates and every time that I asked, I saw and felt you shift. God, did you think I was stupid, Dean?!”

“Y/N, I…I…”

“Then,” My tears were flowing like a river at this point. “You were in the shower and your phone was vibrating like crazy. I picked it up, thinking it was mine, and saw the messages from Lisa…”

His face fell at that moment.

“God! I was seeing red. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but I didn’t… I decided to leave that same day without telling you…”

“I’m sorry,” Dean whispered.

“You hurt me, Dean. And I hate you for it,” I said. Rain started to fall from the sky, drenching our hair and our clothes in the process.

“I thought you were the guy that would never, ever hurt me…”

“I’m sorry Y/N,” he said again. “I’m sorry for hurting you and lying to you. You are the love of my life and I want you to be my forever…”

Dean was closing the space between us. “I want to look into your e/c eyes,” he continued as he took hold my hands. They were warm against my skin, despite the cold air and rain around us. “Hold your hand as are falling asleep. Sleep in the same bed. Make love to you. Kiss your beautiful, luscious lips…”

He closed the space and placed his thumb and index finger under my chin to lift my head so I can look at him. His beautiful green eyes were red rimmed, full of regret and sorrow. His breath brushing against mine, sending shivers down my spine. He inches his face closer, brushing his lips against mine.

“NO,” I yelled as I pushed him off. “Don’t you dare think kissing me is going to make everything go away.”

“Give me another chance please,” Dean pleaded. He grabbed my hands again and kneeled in front of me, hugging my waist tightly. “I lived my life without you for a year and I don’t like it without you in it. Please give me another chance…”

Dean was crying against my stomach. My heart was hurting so much that it was getting hard to breathe. I love him, I really do but it really hurts.

“I can’t Dean,” I told him. “You were the last person I thought would every hurt me…”

We stayed in that position of a good five minutes and kept saying he was sorry.

“I should go,” I whispered.

“Please don’t go,” he pleaded. “Please Y/N… I need you.”

“No,” I said as I knelt in front of him and placed a hand on his cheek, wiping away a single man tear. “You don’t need me. You’re one of the strongest people I know. Please don’t waste your time over me… I love you Dean. I really do but it really hurts to love you…”

I place a kiss on his forehead letting him know what I said was true. I walk to the impala and grab my things. I look at Dean and he is still on the floor, the hurt and pleading in his eyes are cutting me deep.

“Goodbye Dean…” I started walking the other direction, with tears continuing to stream down my face and never looked back…

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback appreciated! Will be taking requests ^-^


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